What it meant when tears roll.

Today I cry a lot... so damn embarrassed ..I'm not the type that cries alot,big baby.. Infact, I did try to cover it up .but turns out my mouth made this sound that is obviously a crying one.

I cry because of my feet hurts. I have to clean it every time I get them wet..like in the showers for example. When I said I have to 'clean' them, it means scrub them till 'nanah' are gone..other meaning, can see your blood or meat..huhu how awful and gross that sounds. Then when I start crying,I started to flash back one of my memories,the bad ones.. I can't forget how I feel people hate me.. the one that I love, like mom..Ya sure she hugged me when I cry earlier..but I didn't respond to her,even worst, I turn my head. Now I totally regret it. It wasn't what I want. It feels like I wasn't love enough than my brothers..(why , where does this awful thoughts came from)

I have this feeling that I miss my mum, and the one sitting there wasn't her. I know shes in there somewhere deep down inside of her. If you must know, she change a lot when having my lil sis. I know she always give me excuses when shes being totally unfair treating us all.. because shes old now and can't stand kids crying...oh COME ON!

I feel like running away from home...errgghh living with distressful family is not very pleasant .

I need.... A VACATION from all this.. not running away from home..just wanna escape from all this even for a lil while..

hmm...anyway, my heart is still unstable..so, other meaning I will immediately cry if anything sad came across me.

I must hold on no matter what.. just now I look at my friends facebook and I don't quite like them.haha his very annoying and think his all that.ppffftt what ever ass hole.

Tee hee..

I wrote this without crying..so, sorry if you can't feel the emotion in it..or, I can't feel it to. Thats because I have just finish watch my hilarious cartoon.hahaha.Iknow, I know, Too old?? NEVER!!